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Archive for January, 2011

This is going to be my first entry for the Mama’s Losin It writing workshop. I know I am a guy and all, but some guys like to Blog as well!

Anyway, I went through the list and the only thing which appealed to me was #5 a good or bad experience with social media. I am not completely sure if this justifies in the category but I am going to use it anyway!!

I do watch a lot of YouTube (and hope to get myself on there soon, but first things first). But the only social media which has had an impact at all in my life was Internet Dating. I mean it IS interaction with another person which I met through the internet. There were exchanges of emails, IMs and even webchats so I think this justifies.

About 4 years ago I moved back to Long Island to help my Dad grieve and then get past the death of my mom. After a year and a half, dad was feeling better and starting to get out on his own doing rather than sit home and watch TV so I decided it was time for me to find my own place to live. I looked in the local paper but there weren’t any apartments catching my attention especially with the prices here on Long Island being CRAZY!!!

I was on AIM talking to a friend and she suggested Craigslist so I looked. I looked for about 2 hours and, although there were a ton of apartments to rent, nothing seemed decent and they all seemed to have agent fees associated with them. So I went to the home of Craigslist and noticed they had personal ads. I had no idea so I check them out. I mean I wasn’t dating anyone and since I was looking to move I figured, why not.

The first ad I clicked seemed the typical Long Island girl I have had the most interaction with. It went something like this:

I’m young and hot so if you are rich and want to be seen with me, send me a picture and MAYBE I will email you back. Yeah, this is someone I am going to contact. Someone like this is DEFINITELY someone to bring home to meet the family and hope my nephew throws up when she is holding him. Needless to say, I was very turned off by this, as anyone with any self-respect and common sense would be and was surprised that dating had become this.

The next ad I clicked was really good. She seemed very sweet and down to earth. She had a picture and she was very cute so I wrote to her. I think she wrote back the next day and we wrote back and forth a couple of times, then she gave me her number and we talked on the phone. Less than a week later we went out for the first time and about 10 months after that we were engaged and now we are expecting our first child!

At first I was a little embarrassed to admit that I met my wife online but my best friend met her now husband online. They were even married a week after us.

So not only does this tell me how Social Media can help change your life, as mine has changed in a major and GREAT way, but it also shows that love is found wherever you look and to never be embarrassed but what you find or where you find it!

Mama's Losin' It

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This morning I was asleep. Probably later than I should have since my phone rang at around quarter to 11 and I was still sleeping. The call was from my friend Barry. One of my best friends actually and he was telling me he received calls from 2 of our other friends saying that I was Texting them on Facebook and asking for money! What?!?!?

Apparently, according to the Hacker, Erica and I were in the London (I WISH!!!) and we were mugged (if that happened, with my training, muggers beware!) and they took everything. All our money, cell phone, keys, wallet, everything and wanted money wired to me.

Really? Can an internet scam become any more obviously fake than that? So I was beat up, mugged, while in another country but they didn’t take my computer just so I could get online to my Facebook and ask my friends to send me money? For the love of Leprechauns!

So I get on my account, change my password, set my settings back to what they should be and I figure all is well with the world. No big deal. I log in later and no issues. I don’t log in until a day later and then my account is locked! What the hell?

I try again and it says my account has been disabled due to security issues and to follow these steps. Ok, so I follow the steps and they email me with more steps to follow. Ok, follow those steps. Email them back. Now my account comes up as disabled but to everyone it looks like it’s deleted!! What the cheetahs!

I have been emailing them from everyone one of my email accounts to re-activate my account and they say they will look into it and that I can’t even create a new email address because its against their terms of service.

It’s already been a week and I still cannot get into my Facebook account! Normally I wouldn’t care so much but I keep in touch with family, friends, classmates even professors through my Facebook and now I can’t! It’s so damn frustrating. They even disabled me from making a new account with my email addresses.

AND you can’t even get a hold of them. All you can do is go through a list of possible problems and then email them and HOPE they get back to you, which on average has been about 3 days later. Welcome to the age of technology!!

When did a SOCIAL WEBSITE become more important that they disable it and make it impossible to correct the issue over my bank account! If my bank account was in jeopardy I could call them and have it all taken care of in 20 minutes, but a freaking social website… after a week it looks like its been deleted!!!

If Facebook had kept their noses out of it, it had already been handled and corrected! Once they became involved that when the real issues started!

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By the time I post this, 3 months would have gone by. I couldn’t post this earlier because, in spite of the fact that NO ONE reads this, I don’t want to jinx anything. I know “jinxing” is a silly, superstitious thing but I would rather be safe than sorry.

Anyway, I started to blog again because a friend of mine blogs. I love writing and posting to the internet is no big deal to me. (Although, it would be nice if someone else read these things but I post none the less.) Well, she posts and writes AMAZINGLY but its all about mom things. Mom blogs. Mom book clubs. Anything mom. Even with the fact that her blogs are still directed at anything mommy-like, they are still good reads.

I post about anything which is on my mind at the time. Usually it has to do with crap at work or something good that happened. This post is about something GREAT that happened but I can’t tell anyone yet… but I will post it when I can.

Anyway, our first year of marriage was a bit rocky due to insecurities, anxiety, school failures, do overs, bad jobs, unemployment, but in the end we were definitely stronger. It really is very true that the first year of marriage is definitely about adjustment. About six or seven months ago we decided to not try to have a baby, but also not do anything to prevent it. For a guy this means that there is a chance we may get pregnant and for women it means WOO HOO WE ARE GETTING PREGNANT! These 2 different outlooks can (and do) cause a lot of issues.

For one, guys start to think about how this will affect our lives, what our new responsibilities would be and then we think of ways to saying we changed our minds because its awesome to be able to go hiking on a weekend which you cant do with a newborn. For women, it means that you tell all your friends that you are trying, at family functions family comes up saying how they heard we are trying and we spend the next few hours explaining to everyone that we aren’t TRYING… we are just NOT NOT TRYING! And it also means that every baby seen, every baby commercial or tv show, all friends and relatives who are getting pregnant means that you are trying more.

After about 3 or 4 months, we have figured out everything that needs to be done, factored in that it will take about 9 months so there is time. SO we decide as a family to really try. THAT’S where the REAL stress begins. After playing the “calendar game” and there being psychosomatic symptoms of being pregnant then the tests come back negative (as well as the following 8 more tests) then there must be something wrong with one of us. Usually the woman thinks its her, even though it isn’t, and then she reads that doctors count trying as when you stop taking birth control. For a guy, we said we were NOT trying, we were going to let whatever happens happen and that’s what we meant. But somewhere it turned into not trying for the 1 month we said lets have one, it means we have been trying for the last 5 months! SO then pregnancy prep tools come into play.

By this I mean a product call Clear Blue Easy, which all is does is tell you when you are ovulating. It also means that she starts not only picking out baby names but calls her parents to tell them what name was decided on if it was a boy because it will be named after her father. Then regret about jumping the gun on that race. It also means that at 3am we are woken up because someone peed on a stick and there is a happy face… WHAT?!?

“That means I’m ovulating! That’s why we didn’t get pregnant because I was ovulating earlier than I thought! We are SOO having sex tonight!”

“uh, ok… YAY!” (said sarcastically)

So then 2 weeks later, she has not taken a pregnancy test but every time you mention maybe she is pregnant she says no we are DEFINIELY not pregnant. Then the problems turn to the guy.

“You should go see Dr. Mike and get checked out!”

“What? We have only been trying for about a month? I think we should try a little longer”

“No we have been trying for 6 MONTHS!!! If I make the appointment would you go?”

“no”

“why not”

“Because we need to try longer.”

“Ok. Hey… I have a craving for those orange slices with sugar you usually get which I have one or 2 of and that’s it”

“Maybe you are pregnant. You know what they say about weird cravings”

” I am NOT pregnant and its not a weird craving”

“For you it is”

Fast forward to 2 days later…

Should I take a pregnancy test?”

“If we have them sure, why not.”

I don’t know how to read this!” (yelling from the bathroom and I am in the office)

“Well, one line means negative.”

what does 2 lines mean?”

“Uh… umm… well.. positive!”

“WHAT!!!” J

So now we have a little one on the way! J This is going to be the start of a completely new adventure… I LOVE adventures!!!

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We are entering my FAVORITE holiday of the year… CHRISTMAS!! Now I am fully aware that the meaning of Christmas has lost its true meaning from its origin to what we have commercialized it to be, but I love it anyway. There is such a Magic that surrounds this time of year. People are more forgiving, you hear from people you have not heard from in a LONG time whether it’s a friend or relative. Now is the time of forgiveness and giving and letting bygones be bygones and moving forward.

Working in the ER I see the other side of the coin. I see the crazy people who come in with such trivial things that you have to shake your head and wonder. “They came in because they BIT THEIR TONGUE?” or “This person is coming in because they have a headache… for 1 hour?” It brings out the stupid in peoples medical issues and THEN they become all bent out of shape because it’s “taking so long”. I mean these people have eyes and can see, can’t they look around and figure out that a 12 bed ER has 12 beds full and both doctors are doing all they can to help everyone? I know it’s in their capabilities, unfortunately it’s not in their mental abilities.

Then I arrive home to my beautiful wife and look forward to going to my Dad’s house for Christmas and seeing my sister and brother and all my nieces and nephews. I look forward to wondering who my dad is going to invite over and how we can make fun of him about it in SOOO many ways. And… I will, I mean we will all miss my mother because this was one of her favorite holidays (which is probably why it is mine). These times over ride all the crazies in the ER I deal with… but the crazies give me such great stories to tell and see everyone’s reactions!

But this Christmas is going to be a little different. This Christmas I have big news to tell my family. The question always comes up as to how? Some people tell people by getting a picture frame or somehow hinting that a baby is on the way with a t-shirt or a mug. How will I do it? Well, pretty much I plan on just blurting it out and letting people figure out what I just said and watch as it registers!

I can’t wait for our strawberry (baby) to arrive and start to grow up, but it is a scary time as well. I wish my mother was here to help guide us a little. To help us out by telling us how to do this or it may be better to do something a different way. As a man in this society, it is my responsibility to be able to provide for my family. That is the only thing I am nervous about. With the way our economy is going and my wife and I wanting to move out of New York, I am nervous I won’t be able to locate a job which will pay well enough for us to live the life we would like to.

I chose the Nursing profession because I knew that, with the nursing shortage, I should be able to find a job almost anywhere we would like… but in reality that is not always the case. As with any job, regardless of knowledge or experience or even schooling, nothing is definite. So with this we will be starting our adventure of this year, blogging and vlogging and preparing for our new lives as a family and a Nurse and Mom and Dad to be!

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