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Archive for April, 2011

If my mom were a blogger I think we would have had a lot closer relationship than we had. Don’t get me wrong… we had a really good relationship, but I think it could have been better… if she were a blogger.

I mean I would have to teach the ins and outs of EVERY aspect of the internet, websites, how to explore the web and a whole lot more. But I think all that would make us closer. I mean it took me about a month to teach her how to use the original Nintendo system and then she proceeded to learn how to kick everyone’s but at Tetris, then Dr Mario! I think once she embraced how much was available on the net she would have LOVED it… but then again, she may have also found the gambling sites and gambled away EVERYTHING and be living with my brother or sister right now! LOL.

I think she would learn what I have learned (and I am still honing) which is that you can express yourself in ANY way you want as long as you can take the negative comments which may follow and learn more about yourself through other’s perspectives. That the things that are bottled up and bothering you can be released through a blog and help ease your mind on whatever may be bothering you.

I think if my mom was a blogger I may have learned about her having cancer earlier and hopefully helped her with decisions, more than I did when it all happened. I would have been better able to prepare for what was not only happening to her, but reassure her that we were all there for her more expressively than I did at the time. At the time I called her every couple of days and even then I skipped some days… but I shouldn’t have.

I would have been able to express my feelings about what was going on. I would be able to let her know that I felt SO guilty about living so far away at the time that I couldn’t be there for her when she really needed me. That I wanted more than anything to be there to help but my life was set up so far away that I didn’t know how I could do it.

I would also be able to verbally console her, which is sometimes so much more than a physical one, when she was feeling sick or weak or scared. And she would have known how scared I was about what was happening.

I also think I would have a place where I could get all my mother’s recipes which some are going to be lost forever with her. I think I would have access to pictures (of course, after showing her many, MANY times how to use a scanner) that I never even knew existed.

I think we would have been closer, understood everything that was going on better, and be able to lean on each other more both in person and online.

OR, she would have blogged about EVERY embarrassing thing me, my brother and sister ever did so she could embarrass us… FOREVER!! I would have gladly taken the later if there was more of the former thrown in!

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Every Monday I sit in class and look forward to receiving the MamaKat’s writing prompts deliver into my mailbox. Every Monday I am sit and learn a little bit about some Nursing aspect that I am supposed to know but won’t really learn until I enter the world of nursing and actually do it.

Some weeks I know what I am going to write and some weeks I cannot think of anything for the prompts am overworked between work, school, life and do not have the time. This week was NOT one of those times. The moment I saw the prompts I knew exactly which one I was going to do and what it was going to be about.

This week’s prompt is about my best friend for life.

We were ALWAYS there for each other. Always had each other’s back and always understood each other… especially in the times of most embarrassing and all.

Mark I became friends sometime around 5 or 6 years old. He lived a block away and lived on a VERY busy street. He could not ride his bicycle on his road otherwise he would have become a mark-pancake so he would bring his bicycle to what he called the “back road” and I called my block. I was shy since there was no one my age to hang out with on my street. Mark said “hi” to me one day and although I was shy, if someone initiated conversation, I took that as friendship and would just talk and talk. It was because of him I was determined to learn how to ride a two-wheeler bicycle.

About a week or so later I taught myself how to ride a two-wheeler and Mark and I were inseparable. We would ride all over. When one of us was punished, chances were very high that we both were because we were probably together doing something or going somewhere we were told not to go.

We grew up and went through elementary, middle and high school together. Mark was 3 months younger which actually made him a year behind me in school.

Mark and I were very identical in some ways and opposites in others. I embarrassed easy and cared what people thought of me. Mark was fearless, didn’t care what people thought and lived his life that if you don’t like me… tough. I always admired his inner strength and his take no BS attitude.

Mark also had a wise mouth which got him into trouble from time to time. From the time I was born until now I have only been in 3 fist fights in my whole life, two of them were because someone jumped into a fight Mark was having so I jumped in to protect Mark. That is how things have been from the beginning, always being there for each other… no matter what.

We would get into arguments over stupid things when we were younger and be screaming at each other saying we hate each other. Even yelling saying “well what time and I coming over to sleep over tonight!” and he would yell “8 o’clock asshole” and I would yell “OK you jerk” and our friends would be dumbfounded like, they just almost got into a fight but they are STILL sleeping over? Mark and I NEVER got into a real fight nor would we ever and we always have an understanding that no one else in the world understood.

In our teens we would ride our bicycles all over Long Island discovering new places and seeing how far we could ride. My mother freaked when I was 24 and she found out that at 12 Mark and I were bored so we rode our bicycles from Lindenhurst to Stony brook which was about 30 miles… each way.

I joined the Volunteer fire department a few months after he did and out badge numbers and gear lockers were side by side.

Mark was there for me when I broke up with the girl I thought was “the one” and knew not to ask me anything, just knew I would talk about it in due time with him. And I did.

I was there the night he needed to get home to help his dad in a very difficult time that a teenager shouldn’t have to. But I didn’t ask why or what was wrong just said “Ok, lets go”.

Mark and his girlfriend Tina (now his wife) would break up and get back together every other week. Tina always liked me but there was a time she really did not and that was because I would never let Mark sit at home when he was upset about breaking up. I would come over and if they were broken up I would take him out and we would get into SOME sort of trouble… because getting into trouble is what we call having fun! Nothing too major, just good respectful trouble.

I was there the day after his daughter was born.

He was there for me when my mom passed away.

His brother was his best man at his wedding but he told me that he wanted me to be best man but his mom demanded he have Billy and I told him I understood.

He was the best man at my wedding because… well he WAS the best man at my wedding and I am closer to him than I am to my own brother.

We were there when we invented “bike chases” and “car chases”

He was there with the “Hey knock it off” man.

Mark doubled up his junior year of High School to graduate with all of us that hung out, but only Mark and myself were the ones who graduated.

 

And there was a large area I have left out… Mark and his family I know saved my life.

Growing up my dad was, is an alcoholic. He hasn’t had anything to drink in over 20 years, but back then he drank… a LOT! Nothing crazy and not a mean drunk, he was the opposite. My dad was EVERY ones friend when he drank, but he and my mother would fight CONSTANTLY. Then he would leave and mom would need to yell so she would yell at me and my brother about toys, about school work, about anything.

My parents were NEVER abusive, but home life was very difficult. And that’s how mark and his family saved my life.

I spent MOST of my teens at Mark’s house. His mom would treat me just like one of her kids. She would smack me in the head if I was out of line and say she I did well when I did. I grew up learning to ALWAYS respect your elders. I always call anyone older than me Mister or misses… but not his family. His mom was Mamma Miller and his Dad was DUUUDE! His cousins would introduce me as their cousin Jim.

I didn’t know it then, but I do now. I am the person I am today because of Mark. Mark was always a little rude and crude, always VERY direct but his heart is always in the right place. Both of us always had the same morals. We both have a high code of honor. He knows I would do anything for him and his family no matter what, especially for what he and his family did for me. They allowed me to be a part of their family when I needed it the most.

Mark and I are still best friends to this day. We do not get to see each other much but he knows if he ever needs me any time day or night, all he needs to do is call and I am there for him. I haven’t seen him in a few months because work, life and school take up ALL my time, but I talk about him often to my friends and always very highly. I tell them his is more than my best friend… he is more of a brother to me than my own actual brother.

Having a lifelong friend like that is something I hope my kids learn all about when they are… well born and then grow up. And I hope Mark and I are the example which makes my kids realizes how important it is to have relationships like that.

Thank you Mark for being my brother in every way imaginable!

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